207: Aubrey Marcus | Open Relationships, Onnit, and Opportunity

Founder of ONNIT and New York Times best-selling author of Own the Day, Own Your Life, Aubrey Marcus talks to your host Travis Chappell about transitioning from a monogamous relationship to an open relationship, starting a journey of self-discovery and building your inner circle.

Here’s what Travis and Aubrey discuss in this episode:

  • Aubrey talks about what it was like growing up and why his parent’s divorce was a blessing.
  • The idea behind Aubrey’s mastermind: Human beings are happiest when they know their, purpose, why, and are acting in service of something else.
    • The program talks about being personally fit, mentally fit, emotionally fit, and spiritually fit.
  • Do you believe that who you know is more important, or why?
    • The most important thing is knowing yourself.
    • You have to use all the tools available to understand yourself and help yourself.
  • Aubrey talks about his path of spirituality and psychedelics.
  • What is the correlation between someone’s first spiritual experience and what they believe for the rest of their lives?
    • Try and find and feel and know that direct contact with divinity.
  • What psychedelic would you recommend starting with?
    • It depends on where you are and what you’re called to.
    • You have to ask questions about who you are and track the awareness of those patterns.
  • It’s not marijuana that makes you paranoid and anxious, it’s your natural paranoia and anxiety that surfaces.
  • You have to get your mind still enough to start asking the right questions.
  • Why should we take ice baths?
    • You can feel the state shifts.
    • It raises your norepinephrine and reduces cortisol levels (stress hormone).
    • You get the courage to know you can push yourself.
  • There are three things you need to do to set yourself up well:
    • Expose your body to light to get your circadian rhythm right.
    • Do some kind of movement.
    • Hydrate – do this first.
  • To set yourself up well to sleep:
    • Limit access to light.
    • Create a rounded edge into sleep.
    • Sleep doesn’t have to be at one point only, naps are important too.
  • Open relationships are extremely challenging and are like resistance training for the psyche.
    • Physical pain and healing are easier than emotional healing.
    • He craved the experience of being with a new person and getting new validation.
    • Aubrey talks about when his girlfriend was with an MMA fighter.

The Randon Round:

  • What profession other than your own do you think it would be fun to attempt?
    • Playing athletics with stakes.
  • If you could sit on a park bench with anyone for an hour who would it be, and why?
    • Jesus
    • He called in a level of consciousness that hadn’t been seen or expressed before.
  • How do you like to consume content?
    • Books
  • What’s a book you’d recommend?
    • The War of Art – Steven Pressfield
    • The Mastery of Love – Don Miguel Ruiz
    • The New Earth –  Edgar Tolles
    • The Book of Truth – Paul Selig
  • Give us a glimpse of your morning routine.
    • Wake up and hydrate
    • Move in some way
    • Get sunlight
    • Cold shower
    • Low carb, high fat, high protein breakfast
  • What is something that you are not very good at?
    • Laundry folding, doing mechanical things
  • What is your go-to pump up song?
    • Just does a pump-up playlist on Spotify
  • What is one place where we can find you the most?
    • @aubreymarcus on Instagram
    • The Aubrey Marcus Podcast
    • ONNIT

3 Key Points:

  1. You have to get yourself in enough of a position where you can give your gift to the world in a meaningful way.
  2. Developing a degree of mastery in something and mastery in yourself is the real opportunity.
  3. You need to have direct contact with divinity.

Tweetable Quotes:

  • “Spending intentional energy on building a network around my kids is a great way to raise them.” – Aubrey
  • “To really know yourself is one of the most challenging things.” – Aubrey
  • “You have to get still, be curious, and ask yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing.” – Aubrey
  • “Arrogance is an insecurity, it’s covering for something you don’t know about yourself.” -Aubrey

Resources Mentioned:


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